Bridge Over Troubled Waters

When we walked into the light, there was a loud ringing in my ears, and it felt like my head was exploding. With one last POP! I was shuddered back down onto a place that was as familiar as my own shadow.
Oklahoma land!
In fact, we'd landed right on Darry's front porch. The nostalgia of it almost made me cry, but I held myself together. Dally, on the other hand, was busy patting down his body, thinking life had been restored. I left him to frolic in the yard, and went inside. In the house, the Curtis brothers had dressed up nicely, with ties. Wow. This wasn't like them. What was going on?
Oh. Right. The hearing.
I figured that as the hearing was about the crime I had commited, the man I had killed, I should probably tag along.
Once we were at the courthouse, I was able to kick back and relax. There weren't many people there, but most people gave a rendition of their side of the story. I was amazed at the truthfulness of everything, I thought the Socs might pull something funny and completely blame it on me. When the judge got around to speaking to Ponyboy, Ponyboy looked like he was going to wet his pants. However, instead of asking Ponyboy what happened, the judge merely chatted to him about things like school, and his social life. Ponyboy didn't get charged with anything.
At that moment, I would have given so much to have given Ponyboy a hug. He looked so down, so pale. I was gonna miss him.
I looked around the courtroom, taking a long look at everyone. In my mind, I gave everyone the good-bye that I never had a chance to.
Good-bye, Ponyboy Curtis.
Good-bye, Cherry Valance.
Good-bye, Darral Curtis.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
Being a spirit, I was able to teleport quickly back to the Curtis' front yard. Dally was there, deeply saddened over the fact that his death wasn't just a bad nightmare.
In those few hours I had returned to this earth, I learned so many things.
Not to be afraid of death. It is a natural thing, that happens to everyone, and you shouldn't be ashamed, or angry. Every life touches another, and no life leaves without an imprint on the world.
I explained this to Dally, and I could see he understood.
We linked arms, and walked together, binded forever, into an afterlife that anyone could be grateful for.

Forever I will remain,
writing no more,
Jonathon Nathaniel Cade

November 16, 2008

Candle in the Wind

Being dead isn't a pleasent feeling. Your joints feel loose, you have a blinding headache, and you are lost in this space of white. The Grim Reaper dropped me off in this place he called "Ort des Todes", whatever that means. All it was, was a bright white endless space, and I could tell it wasn't heaven. It smelled of rusty spoons, and the air was thick, and hard to draw. All around me, people crept around. Some crawled, calling desperately for those they departed. Others ran around, searching for a way out of here. The Grim Reaper left me here, and said when the time was right, I would find the light, and move on.
So, how I spent that time?
I thought.
I thought and thought and thought.
I was in the middle of thinking about ice cream, when a man walked over to me.
"Johnny? Is that you?"
I recognized the voice, but couldn't place it.The guy looked real tough, but he looked at me as if he truly cared about me. He looked like the type of fellow who could get arrested over and over and not get phased. In fact, he kinda looked like Dally's personality...
And sounded like him too!
"DALLY! DALLY, OH, IS THAT REALLY YOU?" I bawled, so happy to see someone I knew. I quickly regretted my outburst, and rubbed my head to ease the pain.
"Hey, Dally," I said, starting to think. "I'm dead, ain't I? So what are you doing here?"
"I'm dead, Johnny. They shot me."
I stood there, dazed. Dally? Dead? No. He couldn't have been shot. No. Not the Dally I know.
"Why?" I whispered. It was all I could say. Tears filled our eyes.
"I just couldn't take it-you being dead. Johnny, you were the reason I didn't leave. Leave to go back to New York. You were the roots to my tree, the stem to my flower. And so, after... after, I went to a store, they gave me the money, I ran, the police-my gun- they shot me. But that's what I wanted... Didn't want to live without you." Dallas choked out.
Wow. That was a mind-blower for me. I felt... honored? But, why would he give his life?
"Oh, Dally." It was all I felt was appropriate. "What about everyone else? What happened to them?"
At that moment, a light fell behind Dally.
When the time is right, you will see the light.
I remembered the words the Grim Reaper had said.
"Dally-the light!"
He turned, cocked an eyebrow at me, in a way that said, 'Shall we?'
So, together, we walked into the light.

November 13, 2008

Live and Let Die

While the rumble was going on, I was trapped by the haunting walls of a dark end. No one who loved me would be around me. My mother, she would have just yelled at me, blamed me, say it was my fault I was dying. My father, well, maybe he would have beaten me, and give death that extra little push it needed to get to me. And my friends, they were all at the rumble. Darry, Dally, Ponyboy-all of them. All who I cared about. All who cared about me. And I would die within these walls, trapped by the whitewashed walls that smell of that nasty cleaning detergent. The walls seemed to close around me, and I drifted into a dream-free sleep.

I awoke to a voice repeating my name.
"Johnny? Johnny?"
I opened my eyes and saw Dally and Ponyboy standing in the doorway.
"Hey," I spluttered out weakly.
"We won. We beat the Socs. Stomped on them, ran them out of town!" Dally exclaimed, his eyes still bright from the fight.
Like I care.
"Useless! Fighting's no good!" I spewed with my last energy. I felt the blood rush out of my head.
"They're still writing about you, Johnny. Calling you a hero and stuff. We're proud of you, Johnny. So proud." Dally whispered, seeing how weak and frail I was. But that sentence made my eyes glow.
That was when I saw a third figure in the doorway. He was dressed in a black cloak, with a pointed hood. His face was a pale white, and in his hand, he held a long stick connected to a shimmering curved metal end... A... scythe. It was the Grim Reaper. I knew I only had so much longer, a matter of seconds, maybe minutes.
"Ponyboy," I rasped. He came over to lean over the bed rail.
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."
The Grim Reaper came forward.
"Stay gold."
And with that last sentence out of my mouth, the Grim Reaper came over, and spoke to me.
"Come with me."
For a person who looked that menacing, he had quite a girly voice. A school-girl's voice. I notice the oddest things at the wrong time.

You Got a Friend in Me

It's so boring here, alone in my hospital room. How I wish for a visitor. I miss Ponyboy and Dally. And Darry. I definitely miss Darry. I wish he would come and visit me. He always tells me the latest jokes he's heard, or any funny stories about his work. Though it pains me so much right now, I would let my face slip into a strained smile, for someone who needs it. Someone like Darry.

~~~

I hear someone talking outside, a someone who sounded familiar. Might Darry be the someone? Yes, yes it is! He comes into the room, with a solemn look on his face. I try to twist my lips into his name, but end up coughing.

"Johnny?" Darry whispers, and I see his eyes fill slowly with tears.

"D-" I begin, but the words are once again caught in my throat.

"Don't talk," he murmers, and pats me on the head. A shimmering tear falls down his face.
"Why, Johnny? Why?" he mutters rhetorically.

I have to tell him I'm okay.
"Darry." I say this firmly, so he knows I am not going to back down and be quiet.

"Shush, Johnny. Don't talk.It will hurt. Please."

"No. I have to. And Darry, I'm so sorry. Sorry for all of this." I huff out, and a flash of anger strikes upon Darry's face.

"You're sorry!? Johnny, this is my fault! If I hadn't slugged Ponyboy, this would have never happened! Johnny, listen!" His sudden burst of anger was gone, replaced with a look of sorrow and fear. Fear for me.

"D-darry. Don't blame yourself... If Pony...boy hadn't come... I would have gone by myself... Maybe the Socs would have finished me off right there... maybe I would be in an electric chair right now. I don't know, but this.... this isn't so horrible..." I wince in pain, and begin to cough hoarsely.

Darry looks at me a little funny, then comes and sits next to me.

"It'll all work out, Darry. Everything will be fine. Stay strong. Promise me you'll stay strong," I plead, looking up at him with my drugged eyes.

"I can't promise that, Johnny." Darry's voice cracks, and the tears begin to flow freely down his face. We sit there for a few minutes, crying together.

"Get some sleep, Johnnycakes." Darry gives me one last effort of a smile, then heads out the door.

~~~
That was the last time I ever saw him.

November 10, 2008

Too Much Time On My Hands

The rumble is tonight. I, obviously, am not going. Heck, I don't even know if I'm going to live 'till 4 o'clock.

The nurse came spoke to me today. She told me that...

I was right. I only have a day to live, if I'm really lucky. I asked the nurse for a paper, and wrote a note to Ponyboy. I told him that it was worth it, my death. I saved so many children, and their lives are more important than mine. They have more to live for. I told him to tell Dally this wasn't the end of the world. There is so much out there, he needs to find good. It's there, somewhere.

I also made the nurse attach Gone With the Wind in the envelope. Pony never got a chance to finish. I hope that he'd enjoy it. I only got halfway through, and it was good, but it drained me of too much energy. Ponyboy had the energy to read it.

I signed the letter off, then fell asleep.

More later.
I remain,
Johnny Cade

October 30, 2008

This Sudden Injury

I drift in and out of conciousness. I'm going to die. I will try my hardest to survive, for Darry, but I know I won't be able to make it. My breathing is staggered, and sometimes, the nurses come rushing in, panicking. I'm not going to survive for much longer.


For the last couple years, I'd thought about suicide. How much easier it would be for my parents if I was gone. They'd be happy. And the gang wouldn't have to worry about me, either. And for me, I wouldn't be beat anymore, by the Socs, or my parents. I'd be free to roam the earth in a bodiless spirit, doing whatever I pleased.


But now, I don't want to die. There are so many things I haven't experienced, so many things I have to live for. So many sunsets I haven't seen. So many things Darry hasn't told me yet.

And now I'm going to die, without a backward glance.

The nurse is coming in now, I have to go. Pardon the shortness.

I remain,
Johnny Cade

October 29, 2008

We Didn't Start the Fire

Dally took us to the Dairy Queen. In any other situation, I would have been bouncing with joy, but two things were stopping me: Being a wanted man, and going with Dally, not Darry. We got into a conversation-nay, more like a fight, about my parents. All I asked was if my parents were at all concerned about me, and Dally blew up. Man, he really freaked me out.

To divert the attention from my parents, I made a quick decision in my head and announced it.

"Me and Pony are turning ourselves in."

Pony stared at me. Sure, we'd talked about it once or twice, but never had come to a decision! I tried to lighten to mood, joking that we had ruined our hair for no reason. I received a scowl.


Dally was driving us back, when we passed the church. I saw long tendrils of smoke drifting out from the roof. I silently cursed under my breath, but Ponyboy was more responsive. He jumped out of the car, and bolted up the hill. Dally swore at him, and while he was occupied, I followed after Pony. We raced up the hill, towards the burning church. Ear-piercing screams echoed inside our heads. There were kids in the church! Parents surrounded the burning building, shrieking for their kids. Without a second thought, together, me and Ponyboy rushed towards the church. We quickly opened the door, and ran inside. All around us, flames flickered, dangerously close to crying children who stayed huddled in the corner. I looked toward Ponyboy and saw he didn't know what to do. I immediatly took control.

I ordered Ponyboy to take the children, and drop them out the window, into the awaiting hands below. I scoured the place for other children, but found none. Ponyboy was just throwing out the second last child, when there was a violent wind, and the flames picked up.

"GO PONYBOY! DON'T WAIT FOR ME!" I screamed, seeing I was about to be trapped by the blazing fire.

I took a running jump, and leapt over the flames. I was almost to the window, when a flaming timber began to fall.

I misjudged the distance.

I felt the crushing of my bones, and let out a howling cry that couldn't be heard over the weeping outside. Then, I passed out cold.

I remain,
Johnny Cade

October 28, 2008

Living Like a Refugee

We ended up in that church that Darry mentioned, and hit the sack as soon as we got there. I woke up early in the morning, and saw Ponyboy out cold on the floor. I managed to smile at his peaceful sleeping face, but stopped when my stomach gave a great rumble. I gave a quick look around for food and couldn't find any. Then I remembered the pocketful of money Dally had given us yesterday. We needed to go shopping. I was going to wake Ponyboy up to get him to come with me, but looking at his face I couldn't bring myself to wake him. He looked too much like Darry. Plus the fact that two Greasers about our physical appearence are probably on Oklahoma's Most Wanted List.

Leaving a message in the dirt by Ponyboy so he didn't worry when he woke, I headed out the door and into town. I stopped at a nondescript general store, and quickly did my round, buying lots of bologna, some candy bars, and Gone With the Wind. I'd heard Ponyboy talking about it, and I wanted to know what the big fuss was about. I also bought him a special surprise. Walking back, I had time to think. About my life-no, my old life. I could never go back to that life, my life will never be the same. God Johnny, you're such an idiot! I thought to myself. But then I started to think about Darry. How he always made me feel better when I was down, how I could always trust him. I remember once, when I was maybe 10 or 11, and their house was a bustling house of joy, I had once slept on there open couch during the night. That night, I got up, and sleepwalked into Darry's room, and supposedly started yelling at him, saying my puppy was lost. Darry got up and made me chocolate cake...

I drifted out of my reverie, and saw I was on the path to the church. Not wanting to scare Ponyboy, I whistled our secret whistle. Ponyboy whistled back, and I proceeded into the church. When I went inside, I meant to postpone the news until an appropriate time, but Ponyboy rustled through my shopping bags.

"Johnny! You ain't think of cutting my hair? Your hair!"
"We have to, Pony. The cops are looking for people who look like us, not blond preps."

I don't remember much after that, I think Ponyboy broke down into manly tears-not at all what Darry would have done. Speaking of Darry, he was half the reason I was doing this-not that I would admit it. I kind of hoped that if Ponyboy cut his hair in a similar style to Darry, they would look more alike. Which would make this church torture alot better; staring at the spitting image of the manliest man I knew.

After we'd cut our hair, we were bored out of our minds. We played games, read Gone With The Wind, but mostly, I missed Darry. I thought about him all the time. How great he was at football, the way he snapped his wrist when making a pass. But everytime I let myself get lost, Ponyboy pulled me out of the Darry quicksand.

One day, Ponyboy recited a poem:
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

It touched me, deep inside. I made a mental note to recite it to Darry when we were together sometime. That's when I remembered, I wouldn't get a chance to. Because I was a murderer.
~
We ran out of good food a couple days in, but I told Ponyboy to deal with it. Soon, Ponyboy resorted to smoking all day long. I told him not to, that he might get sick-it would kill me to see Darry worry over Pony- but Ponyboy ignored my advice. And so, one afternoon he took ill. He fell asleep on the floor, and I went on the back porch to read Gone With the Wind. I was really into it, I could almost hear a man talking about how starving he was. Hey, that wasn't in the book- it was Dally!

Joy. See, Dally... well, he enjoys my company, alot. I, on the other hand, don't really enjoy his that much. I much prefer Darry's. But Dally meant money, and money meant food! I bolted into the church to find Dally and Ponyboy chatting it up on the ground. Just my luck- Dairy Queen! I love ice cream, especially having it with Darry! And once again, the thought came to me. I would never again have ice cream with Darry. I was a wanted man, a murderer, a horrible homicidal maniac.

Don't worry though, it won't be too horrible living in an old church for the rest of my life.
I remain,
Johnny Cade

October 24, 2008

Waiting on the World to Change

Fellow Greasers:

I'm scared. So scared. I fear for my life, Ponyboy's life. If they find us, they'll kill me. Give me the electric chair.

Why?

Because I killed a man. A Soc.

Ponyboy and I were blowing off steam in the park, after Ponyboy had thought about running away. We were going to head home, when some Socs came, in a familiar blue Mustang. And then that all-too familiar Soc, sporting his ringed hands proudly, came up to us, with his vicious pack that were waiting to attack. It was too late to run, we'd have to tough it out.

They had enough reason to come-we'd picked up their girls, at the movies- so please don't go after them, Dally.

So, those good-for-nothing Socs come over to us, and I immediatly could tell they'd had too much to drink. Cherry and Marcia had been right- their boyfriends were nothing more than stupid drunks. The one with the rings- the one who beat me up before- came over to us.
After insulting us, he thrust Ponyboy's head deep into the fountain's water. No one paid atention to me, they all egged the ringleader (pardon the pun-this is not a time for jokes) on. I was so scared I almost peed my pants.I saw Ponyboy fight for his life, then slowly submit to the water than was engulfing his head. At that time, all I could think was this can't happen! Not Ponyboy! And I just went with my gut. Before I could fully process what I was doing, I had pulled out my switchblade and stabbed it into the Soc with the rings. I was burning with a fiery rage and couldn't stop- heck, I didn't want to stop- until Ponyboy was released from the Rickie Rich's hands. Finally, Ponyboy was free of the Soc's grip, and I watched the Soc crumble to the ground.
I watched Ponyboy gasp for air, and shudder down onto the pavement. Sitting next to my best friend, I looked around. By this time, the other Socs had ran. Probably been scared of the monster that killed the Soc.
I'm the monster.
The Soc was lying on the ground in a pool of red-brown blood, and that Ponyboy glanced at it when he came to. I looked away as Ponyboy retched the contents of his stomach onto the ground beside him. It was that moment that it finally sunk into me. I was no longer an innocent Greaser. I was a cold-blooded murderer. Ponyboy and me had to get away, and quick.

You guys probably have heard from Dally where we went, if he wasn't able to keep his gob shut. Might as well tell you, we're staying in a church. Don't worry about us, we have food.


Please don't worry, we're safe. You'll hear from us soon enough.
I remain,
Johnny Cade

October 22, 2008